hey wow. thanks alot people.
I feel much much better already.
and i am smiling.. see? *GRINS*
Anyway, do you guys ever felt when things goes wrong,
YOU DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THEM?
And sometimes you distract yourself so that you wont think about it?
well, when things goes wrong,
I do that most of the time.
But it has a negative side you know!
Sometimes, i distract myself by teasing others.
Then i tease them until its too much (without realising it)
and just HURT them without knowing it.
Then i feel so bad about it.
i dont even dare to talk to them after that incident.
i dont even feel like saying sorry.
But i force myself to apologise,
but then, we drift apart.
Then i will feel super lonely.
So i will start doing other things to forget about the guiltyness.
AND START HURTING PEOPLE AGAIN.
WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
Some of the people i hurt are close friends,
And some are not.
The closer ones forgives me.
But i feel SUPER bad for those that are not close to me.
so yeah, sometimes if i hurt you,
I AM SUPER SORRY.
i will apologise to you okay? just tell me
and i will hope and HOPE and HOPE that you will not drift away from me.
thats all i am going to say.
AMANDA.
-erm, you dont have to give me advice or anything..
--I just have to have more self-control & more awareness.
---I am working on it *winks*